Question: I was 2 months old when my father died, after idat my mother remarried, but she gave my custody to her friend at the age of six month, bcuz her husband refused. My foster mother suckled and raised me with her children. My question is does she has same rights as my real one.
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Answer
The rights of a foster mother aren’t the same as those of a biological mother. A foster mother is owed respect and honour from the child, since she raised him like her own. Fosterage also establishes the hurmat (prohibition) of Nikah. Other than that, they are like strangers.
It is mentioned in Al Mabsoot:
لأن الرضاع تأثيره في الحرمة خاصة، وفيما وراء ذلك كل واحد منهما من صاحبه كالأجنبي. (ألا ترى) أنه لا يتعلق به استحقاق الإرث واستحقاق النفقة حالة اليسار والعسرة،
كتاب الشهادات ، باب من لا تجوز شهادته(16/ 125)
“That the Rida’at is only effective in the Hurmat of Nikah. Other than that, they (the foster mother and child) will be like strangers. Don’t you see that there is no right of inheritance or right of sustenance in the case of difficulty.”
However, one must continue to respect foster parents as shown practically by the beloved Prophet ﷺ. It is mentioned in Hadeeth Shareef:
أَنَّ أَبَا الطُّفَيْلِ، أَخْبَرَهُ قَالَ رَأَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقْسِمُ لَحْمًا بِالْجِعِرَّانَةِ – قَالَ أَبُو الطُّفَيْلِ وَأَنَا يَوْمَئِذٍ غُلاَمٌ أَحْمِلُ عَظْمَ الْجَزُورِ – إِذْ أَقْبَلَتِ امْرَأَةٌ حَتَّى دَنَتْ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَبَسَطَ لَهَا رِدَاءَهُ فَجَلَسَتْ عَلَيْهِ فَقُلْتُ مَنْ هِيَ فَقَالُوا هَذِهِ أُمُّهُ الَّتِي أَرْضَعَتْهُ
I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) distributing meat at Ji’irranah, and I was a boy in those days, bearing the bone of the camel. When a woman approached the Prophet (ﷺ), he spread out his cloak for her, and she sat on it. I asked: Who is she? The people said: She is his foster-mother.
(Sunan Abi Dawud 5144)
Conclusion
Thus, your foster mother can’t have the same rights as a biological mother, but she deserves every respect, honour, and good treatment from you.
واللہ تعالیٰ ورسولہ الکریم ﷺ اعلم بالصواب
Written by: Mufti Syed Siraj Ul Arifeen Shah
St. Ives (Cambridgeshire, UK)
11/09/2024 23:11, 7 Rabi ul Awwal, 1445 Hijri
Also read: https://ask.alqadriyyah.com/what-is-fosterage/
