Question
I live in a joint family system. I want to get out of here as many of my rights are not being fulfilled here plus in last 1.5 years i have undeliberately entered in to a fight with my mother in law. I never meant to fight. But she thinks that she can say whatever she wants in whichever tone but no one is supposed to say anything in an answer (not even anything to make things clear). This is getting on to my nerves. But, my husband currently can’t support a separate accomodation. What should I do? My mental health is deteriorating and my respect is going down as it is considered almost haram in sub continent to say anything back to inlaws.
Answer
Joint family system is quite common in subcontinent, and a vast number of wives continue to live with in laws. The best practice in such a situation is to compromise on various things. Not in any situation should you fight with your mother or reply back in a bad manner. She is like your own mother. If you continue treating her like your own mother, one day she will realise her mistake and start treating you like a daughter. Our Aslaaf and predecessors used to give up their rights and only care about the rights of others.
Majority of the times, its the tendency to reply back is what destroys the relationship between girls and their in laws. If you make a strong resolve not to reply back in any situation, I can guarantee you that the situation will get better. For additional support and peace of mind, you can resort to Zikr of Allah and recitation of Quran Shareef and keep making dua and istighfaar for your in-laws and this shall improve the situation.
واللہ تعالیٰ ورسولہ الکریم ﷺ اعلم بالصواب
Written by: Mufti Syed Siraj Ul Arifeen Shah
St. Ives (Cambridgeshire, UK)
09/10/2024 15:38, 5 Rabi uth Thaani, 1446 Hijri
