Question
Assalamu Alaikum My wife is not willing to do sexual activities when ever I need.she always make excuses or she always argue withe me on that time and day. What\\\’s my options..if I go out and have sex with other girls.do I get Gumrah for that as I have no other options.i tried my best but she is not into this.if I do nikkah outside without her permission will it b my fault.she is pushing.e to that point.what to do??need advise
Answer
It is not permissible for the wife to decline the intercourse unless she is in the state of menstruation or postnatal bleeding. Also if husband does the intercourse excessively, then she will be allowed to decline, as that will beyond her capability, and can damage her health. If that’s not the case, then she must obey whenever husband demands the intercourse. There are many Ahadeeth of the beloved Prophet ﷺ to that effect.
وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم :إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فلم تأته فبات غضبان عليها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح ((متفق عليه)).
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning (Bukhari and Muslim)
إذا باتت المرأة هاجرة فراش زوجها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح
n another narration: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until morning” (Bukhari and Muslim)
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : والذي نفسي بيده ما من رجل يدعو امرأته إلى فراشه فتأبى عليه إلا كان الذي في السماء ساخطًا عليها حتى يرضي عنها.
In another narration: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is above the heaven becomes displeased with her until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her” (Bukhari and Muslim)
If she doesn’t fulfil the rights, the it is permissible for you to marry another women, as long as you can provide for new wife and fulfil her rights.
واللہ تعالیٰ ورسولہ الکریم ﷺ اعلم بالصواب
Written by: Mufti Syed Siraj Ul Arifeen Shah
St. Ives (Cambridgeshire, UK)
09/10/2024 10:10 AM, 5 Rabi uth Thaani, 1446 Hijri
