Questions

It has been 1 year since I got married, and my parents behaviour has been like they are not allowing me to do my duties as a husband, like my wife has gone to her parents house and she has a doctors appointment, in this case my parents are saying why you have to take her since she is there it is her parents responsibility and there are a lot of occasions like this and whenever my in laws invite me to visit them for 2 days my parents have never allowed me to go there for staying there. Recently my baby boy was born and due to some conflicts between the families my parents were expecting that I should not go to the hospital at the birth of my child,but I went against them and still got there and since then the relationship between my parents and me has not been going good. They came to the just for 2 hours and also behaved rudely with my in laws and there relatives and after my wife was discharged from the hospital they even had an argument with me that why did I take my wife and my child in my car back to her home aslo they even asked me to decide weather I want my parents or my child. Please let me if I am doing anything wrong by fulfilling my duties as a husband and a father by going against my parents wishes.

Answer

It isn’t appropriate for the parents to interfere in your marital life. Sharia doesn’t allow this. For you as son, you must always treat them in the best possible way even when they are behaving in a wrong way. The situation demands you to explain to your parents the rights of wife that Sharia has made compulsory for you. It just a matter of your parents being unaware of the rights of the wife and in-laws. You need to find about the underlying reason why your parents and not happy with your in-laws and try and fix that first. I there is not valid reason and parents continue the same behaviour in the future, then certainly they are wrong and they should have fear of Allah. It is the devil’s practice to break the ties and cause rift between the husband and wife. 

It has been narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraia رضی اللہ عنہ, that the Prophet ﷺ , said:

عن أبي هريرة، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ليس منا من خبب امرأة على زوجها، ۔۔۔۔۔

Translation: ” The one who separates between husband and wife is not from among us”

This hadeeth shareef clearly highlights that causing rift between a husband and his wife is not the practice of the believers. So the parents must be made aware of that in a polite manner. 

As far as giving preference to wife or children over parent’s wishes is concerned, then that is not recommended or encouraged by Sharia. Even when parents are wrong, one should about displeasing them and being inclined to the wife. While the rights of the wife are important, the rights of the parents will remain paramount. So it will be compulsory for you not to displease them at any cost, and try and resolve the matter with them. 

واللہ تعالیٰ  ورسولہ الکریم ﷺ اعلم بالصواب

Written by:  Mufti Syed Siraj Ul Arifeen Shah

St. Ives (Cambridgeshire, UK)

04/11/2024 10:43  PM, 1 Jamada ul Awwal, 1446 Hijri